I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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