I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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