so explain again why im purple
no
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
