Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
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