Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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