I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
