I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
