I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
