if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
