Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
