if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
someone owes me an orgasm
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize
