So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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