fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
