is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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