Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
