So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
