Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
