The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
