what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
