More tranny stories later!
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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