They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
