Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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