dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
