Is it because I queefed?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
is that a dick in a sweater?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
