I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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