i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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