It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
