I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
