so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I am available for nakedness
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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