Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize