Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
