My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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