someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
