I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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