He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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