Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
two words: eviction party
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
