My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
