on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
