You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize