but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
