There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Randomize
