Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
