Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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