new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
bring money and cleavage
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
