just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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