I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
