Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize