Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
