We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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