Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize