Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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