So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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