I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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