That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
