Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
