Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
