in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
