Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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