nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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