How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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