Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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