So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
