what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize