i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
3 2 1 whiskey
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
