She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
