Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
