How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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