ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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