Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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