Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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