Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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