I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
