I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
