how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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