i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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