Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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