Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
