At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
