Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I would ride that face into the sunset
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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