arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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