I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize