Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
